tv Mary Jennings Hegar Discusses Shoot Like a Girl CSPAN May 6, 2017 4:30pm-5:33pm EDT
message over and over -- ask why and say where is the dat in what we're doing some testosterone for low t, there were over 200 million prescriptions written last year for it. >> you can watch this and pams jim at booktv.org. >> tonight we have andrea hegar with her book "shoot like a girl" detailing he time in afghanistan. [cheering] >> and her fight to eliminate the military's ground combat policies. she now live nears austin with her family and works as an executive coach and consultant and gives back to her alma mater by mentoring cadets and guest lecturing at the university of texas. she continues to speck about her experienced military and fight
for equality. we're pleased to have here and without further adieu hegar. >> thank you so much and thank you to book people. you have been so wonderful and warm and i keep telling everybody, wherever you bought your book, return and it buy imfrom book people. so thank you y'all so much. i've been speaking for seven years and so nervous right now because i'm sieging to a bunch of people who i know and love and respect, many of whom are in the audience are toastmasters so i would ask you to please not evaluate this speech. so i'm just blown away by how many people are here and i kind of just want to save all the time just one-on-one if a everybody because a lot of you if i have seen in a while about my mom wanted know speck for an hour and then someone else told me, be brief, be funny, be seated. so i'm going try to find where in between those two. so read just a short excerpt from the book, and then we'll
talk for like six or seven minutes and then get to the signing. a brief disclaimer with give this story. i don't want to give away the punch line so maybe shy do the disclaimer afterwards. i don't know if -- goodness. lost misplace here. already going so well. at this point i have gone through pilot training, gone through my first set of deployments and flying with the california air national guard. toward the end of the two-emergency operation i was talking about in the book, we were all looking forward to an upcoming break that was where most of us understood spend time at home. at the time california was experiencing one of the worst wildfire seasons in recent history so before we were able to leave we were immediately retasked from the marijuana eradication mission we were on, where we were there foul out marijuana from the forests, we
were retask evidence with helping local firefighters protect homes and forests from devastating destruction of blazing infernos. we had been fight to protect the same forest out of which we had just been pulling marijuana. flying through wildfires was anen credible ordeal, almost like navigating through a terrible storm. the smoke was so thick we constant rely on vision to navigate. in order to see each other our maintenance crews marked up of. hes with hot pink. it quite a tough to see. covered in hot pink and the three foot tall pink j94 on thunder belly signify jolly 94. for large operations such as this and wildfire suppression, we would augment our core team with air crew from the squadron. so my crew now included reese hunt, my commander and our director of operations. the second in command steve was our flight engineer, on the day we got shot done. matt rhymer was our experienced gunner.
call sign was blue as in your my boys, blue, because he was the oldest nye our squadron, easy going smart dude who was quarterback smile -- quick to smile. we were kept together as a crew. the locals were just as mad as us on these missions, they were angry at us on the marijuana eradication missions beau we were increasing the cost of their pot. so they were justed a mad on the mission because we were dipping out of their ponds to fight the wildfires, and they using those ponds to irrigate crops. we flew through the hot and heat to drop water next to an active fire. instead of degree everything else he knew he had a young copilot who was eager for experience, me. one day as unnerving for me as for him he late the take controls who while we were filling our water bucket, the
parachute like neon orange assembly on the belly of the hasn't. as i flew the helicopter over the water surgeries could i here the back enders calling out 20 feet, 510, 5, for, three, two, told, filling, hold, okay, start back up. and that was the point where the bucket was the top of the water. at this point i started to slow lift lit the bird up so the bucket would open and fill with water ways climbed and this as a rather delicate operation. you're asking a lot of your engines to lift this much extra weight and higher elevation is can be a reese be for disaster. with all of this the for front of his mind reed would guarding the controls as i was on the dip. there's some language here i'm going to skip. who the f is this guy? at 12:00. steve called out.
as i breathe evenly trying to hold the perfectly stable hover and slow climb while keeping the aircraft out of to worth. if i crequeed forward i had to correct backward which would put the tail lower than the nose. dangerous if you weren't holding a very solid hover. flicked a glands out of the front of the aircraft to see an angry bearded middle age man on a quad bike yelling at us. he was eye level with south a sense of unease began to permeate the cabin. either he was mad at us because we confiscated hi weed or we were talking water in the mid of a drought. either it wasn't a good situation. we could throw something it and we would droned in this 20-foot deep sshit all because with were trying save his house. he could shoot at us and we would have no way to defend ourselves. transitionings forward i announced as i slowly pushed the stick forward and pulled the club touch begun the engines
more power, unfortunately the luna tick was in our traffic lane, our at the treats around us precluded ore normal track so we had to try over. oh, shit, waters away. blue reported, i complained over at reese, and he had an expression on his face of, uh-oh, i looked down, somebody had accidentally tripped the bucket switch balls the guy on the quad just got 200-gallons of water. from the back i hear, ha-ha, we got you few f-er. steve shouted to the laughter. wrote this book in a four-month come pressed time and all coming back to me now. haven't read it. he began, yeah, let's go fine another place to dip. we had a good chuckle and began look for another pond. we fill upped with a new
bucketful of water with flew back into the actioned and a just high enough the flames to prevent damage from the aircrest but not uncommon to get overheated or. we were careful not to get too close but sometime witness pushed and if it that way day were flying as loaf as we could in route to our spot chosen by the firefighter on the ground. we saw a large tree on fire on a hill to our left and i don't know if everything round it hat burped down or always been taller by the tree stood at least 30 feet above everything end and was in flames. as we passed we go close and i could feel the skin starting to sting. i was surprise thad blue had not stayed anything but about three seconded later hi started curfewing. that was too close, the blurted. i inahead so much heat i couldn't breathe oar talk. i thought my visor was going to midwest. reese gasolines as me. we warrant use to the effect of flying on this side of the fire and had been condition send traiting on flying hive enough before it so the fact it was on
our site we weren't prepared for. let's not do that again, he said. the end of each day we smelled like chain smokers and suffer from heat exhaustion. the trim from the aircraft to the tell was quiet. have the crewed toed off. sometimes we would hit a drive-through but usually we all wanted to shower and a decent night's sleep. three days into firefighting we had more fun. becoming firefighters we had know idea how long we would be he so had to make the betts of it. we felt like we canoe different areas of the forest bit the look and smell of the smoke as uunique type of tree burnt differently. wow, i said one morning as we began our first trip into the cloud of smoke. this xi smells like cra pennsylvania. home there aren't any animals down there. it smells like a skunk. you people in austin got that faster than i did. great, steve said. that will help foe score with free font desk check. i said, sure, it's smidge
keeping you from getting lucky. whatever you need to tell yourself. we all laughed and the intellect of the day went downhill from there also we traded jabs and laughed at one another and giving the pilots crap when they would hit bingo fuel before us and have to return toy airport. this is ridiculous because you skill doesn't -- haying thank you guts to get one more dip out of your low fuel tank. we may even have pushed it's a little too much ourselves, flying until we were running on fumes. our fun day came to an expend time to drive back to the motel. on the drive blue on ited out a diner and despite our exhaustion we jumped the chance to stop and grab a bite to eat. it was during the meal that it began feeling like maybe the heat exhaustion was getting to us. everyone was laughing at uncomfortably giggling when you have been up too long or working in the sun too much and it's ore dipper and ordered more few are
eyeing the pies. i'm not sure who started but we began text ago crews to see who could join us. we were have doing good a time to call it's night. eventually reese thought it would funny text the squadron commander. this wasn't a great idea giving it was 10:00 rat night wet started ribbing him then he hit is a sobering response. i flapsed down at my phone whatted read made me lose my dinner. i looked at reese across the table and realized he had goen in the same text. ruff guys high, the tech said? i think we have to test your whole crew when you get back. you have to understand, as military aviators we decide not have experience athlete that's because we get tested every 90 days or so if you had done this as a child and wasn't the path you took to get into mail tear. so, we looked at each other for tree seconds terror until reese let out a-pffft and gap laughing wind chill laughed the
ridiculous and then i stopped laughing. we were all high. the fire we had been working all day must have been cannabis field and a good sided one at that. we told blue and steve and they shook hair headed inside disbelief. none of us had any experience what being high felt like. we were laughing and panicking the same time. i steves eyes are bloodset. always bloodshot, blue said. he as right. we never got the urine test but we knew what was going on. i was tabla to experience and it cooperate have picked a better group of guys to hit it witholyear 94. later realized that drugs are bad and hugs, not drugs. [applause] >> should have rescreened that story a little bit. so i've been speaking for seven
years and i always tell variations on the same store and that's the story of the shoot downtown but i have to hospital, that story is all of chapter eight. it's been published and takes too long and i don't want to keep you here that long. so, that story has a lot of lessons and leadership lessons and usually it's about how to change the world and how to become an accomplished person and i look out the crowd tonight and i just simply can't give that speech because you all -- i just respect you so much and all already so accomplished. had a speech in denver and talking to college students and i can talk to them about that but i'll cheng it up at bit and i apologize in advance because this is a difficult to go thing to talk'll so i'll try netshell it for you. this is a summer night in 2007, my first deployment. we're all playing xbox at 2:00 in the morning. our radios go off and everybody
is getting into action and gets your because we have been called out on an a met evacancy. we're in afghanistan. so we gem into aircraft and start taxiing out and we start getting more details coming over the radio. and that's my baby crying. and causing a physiological response. poor guy. so we start getting more details over the radio, and we hear that we're going into an area that's incredibly hot. they're going to launch two apaches with us which is not normal. only do that when gore going other into the worst areas and going out to save a three-year-old local national who had some lung burns because he had walked in on his dad making a bomb. that's how friendly that town it, and the fertilizer in the chemicals in a irburned his lungs. so clearly were we are ready to go into anything to save this particular life are not that any life is more valuable than
another but it's a little different. and we start enthe rotor toes and you can feel the rotor toes pulsele and it's how the crew is feeling. in very jovial. some people trying to crack jokes. we realizes this is a really tough mission. we head out, come in for a lanning, on night vision google which is one of the worst things, don't want to do that. we execute a good lanning, get on the ground safely dierks plain or pjs our special forces medics to get the patient, and now it's time to sit and wait. sit and wait for them to bring the patient back on my night vision goggle its see movement in the corner of my goggle and i turn and i look and we're stepping from check lifts ander
in down time. put i a nounsed the to the crew what i see, and there's silence. in the cockpit. i see a mob of people starting to form in this area in friendly town. and they're pointing at us and talking to each other, and then they start walk toward and then start running toward and is then the mob is getting bigger and peopling coming out and there's more and more people and they're running at us. this is a worst possible scenario because we don't want to pick up and leave because wore trying to save someone'slift. don't want to hurt anybody and honestly even though e they're running us they could be come bag they're like, what is senate some people haven't seen a car left alone a helicopter. and we don't want to get hurt. and in the aircraft with me are my brothers and sisters that i would die for. so, worst of all possible scenarios. i break the silence and key my mic and tell the apaches what i see and they confirm it.
and as i kind of hold my breath because be don't have a standard operate. procedure for this i see the apatch key come through and buzz them at ten feet and you can hear the cartoon record needle off the record going rrrr and everybody stops and it was the perfect show of force because didn't hurt anybody but showed them, we have some apatch thes with -- apaches with us and if you waugh want to hurt is, rethink that and if you can't to check us out, check out from. that id the load the i patient and we took off uneventfully and we got the patient to medical care he needed. but it was a high stress, tense mission, that we were doing because we want teed win the hearts and minds and save lives. especially in a town that is so anti-u.s. military, which shows them we can do some good. right? so that story is a culmination of me following my passion and
my dream and my heart and any calling. and it's probably comes a no surprise to you that along the road a lot of people tried to top me from publishing that, or well-intentioned people who were trying to protect me or didn't think i could citied and wanted me to be happy or didn't think i was tough enough or just didn't then women should be in combat oar any other reason. but i never let anybody deter me from the path and i faced a lot of doors shut in my face bat later i had a report ask me how did you push through all the failure and i took me a minute and they helicopter all the doors being closed in my face and i was like, oh, i never really thought of it as failure. i thought of it as something that was making it harder for know accomplish my goal and i think that's so important. when you think about following your dreams. i would that cheng anybody because people come me from
mentoring -- and this crowd -- i would challenge anybody who is haveing a mid life crisis,- -- i'll let you guess who i'm looking at. it's not my husband. i would challenge you to fie what stirs your soul and what is your passion and then flick away the barriers and the negative people and people who demnized your goal and dream and tell you it's wrong and explain to you why you can't do it or why you shouldn't do and it just flick those away. right? including the fear of failure. and the reason i picked this to talk about is because i think it's applicable in any age. when i have written this book and i've reached a lot of people and gotten just hundreds of e-mails from people across the country, and i've read -- never read one e-mail that said, i really wanted to be a pilot and tried hard about my eyesight wasn't good enough or i tried hard and couldn't it october
aged out. not one it but so many people e-mails from people would saying i wanted to do what you did but was so afraid i didn't make that i just didn't try. and i got an e-mail from a woman who said, i wanted to be a combat search and rescue helicopter pilot and i wish i had read your book five years ago, because i think maybe i could have done it but i was so afraid i would be rejected and then fail and what would that mean for me? but your book will sit on hi shelf forever as a reminder what could have been. and that broke my heart. my wish for you guys is that nobody -- nobody y'all now is ever in that situation. because i think the most important thing to point out about that story is the end of her e-mail she said she was 24 years old. i was selected for pilot training when i was 28. so do i reply ask teller her you still have four years, you,
still do it? but giving up so early so young issue couldn't believe it. think i'm shifting my message at. bit from being a change agent to don't let something like fear ol' failure or failure to try something out, trying out a new dance move on the floor, writing a book, pursuing a career you're afraid you'll fail. so what. done saying anything about you. that's important. what i would say to her and i may crop this e-mail and reply packer to is some words of with i heard recently. i heard fate rarely calls upon uss the hour of our choosing. the person who told me, said that's really deep. where didid you hear that? he said -- -- my favorite
learning moment of that hole and are is inspiration is everywhere. it doesn't have to be in a book but it can be in a children's cartoon and let's make sure that's what our kids are watching and that we glean the lessons from that, too. inspiration is everywhere, fine what inspires you and stirs your heart. flick the barriers away. don't let negative people stop you and get out there and change the world. thank you so much for coming. [applause] >> tate it. i hope you have some good q & a. we are about to sit down and do that or doing that now? great. >> i'm really excited about your book. >> thank you. >> your mother-in-law told me
that a movie is also being made. what can you tell bus that mow of have i? >> well, i'm an introvert, like, disvery private person and i wrote a book about the history of rescue in afghanistan and women in combat that didn't get sold. and my agent convinces me the only way to get this story out its if i told my story, and under duress and she prom mels it me it would be a couple hundred books stole my friends and family and sit on a shelf in the air war college and inform an academic discussion, and she lied. six weeks after the book wag sold the movie writes were sold and the book wasn't written and i was like, crap, have to write this book or return the check. so the move -- its just happened so fast and angelina jolie was david to the project to play me. obviously. i mean, i walked through the degreesry store and i get
mistaken for her all the time. so the great thing about her being attached other than the fact she is attached is that it started attracting other talent, and we got jason hall, the guy who adapt american sniper, so very exciting about to the quality of the script because it's very nerve wracking to hander story over to somebody and let them do whatever they want to it. i don't in the when it's goal to come out. should be starting shooting around summer but i'm not sure. no questions are off limits. this is -- this book -- thank you. i appreciate that. this become deals with tough topic to feel tree to ask -- free to ask me the tough ones. >> who is going to play your mother, grace? >> who was it mat played in the mommy dearest movie? no. i don't know.
that's probably going to be -- yes? i was always picturing sally fields. meryl streep, jessica lang is amazing. i love her. any other questions? all softballs. that's great. >> can you tells what happened to that so-called flight surgeon who examined you? >> i don't know what happened to him. so, ken i talking bat story in the become where i was assaulted and was promised that person would not practice medicine anymore, and not to give away the book but when i was trying decide whether or not to stay in the air force or get out and join the guard, got put up for an award. my boss was trying to keep me in the military and he really valued me and put me up orifice wing level award for the grip and the people i was cot peopling against were from there the other groups.
the medical group put him up so we were competing against even other for the wing level award. so i assume he is off practicing and dish mean, maybe he learned a big lesson because after the assault he ran and told on himself in horror at his open actions so maybe he was disgusted enough with himself that he hasn't done it again but i doubt it. >> so much nor softball questions. you mentioned going with what inspires and you such. was wonder over the last fewer years if there's been a group or anything that has inspired you and kept you going in the direction you want to go. >> see. well, i got my mba. that might be what you're talking about. [applause] >> and there's my family. and toastmasters, but i was
part -- it's another legend. i was part of the best class ever of leadership austin. [applause] >> leadership austin is a great organization. i encourage you to google and it rem you a -- recommend you apply for it. >> neglect about the book that -- [inaudible] -- jurassic there is anything about the books reception that has surprised you? >> the success of it has surprised me greatly. and i don't mean to sound ungrateful because so many people would kill for an opportunity to do this. i'm very grateful but if i had known i don't know if i could have done this. throughout my life anything that scares me -- i think a lot of it is the abuse that my family and suffered the hands of my biological father any beginning of the become -- anytime anything scared i confront it. the things that scares me this morse? public speaking. so when something scare meds i
just want to purpose it in -- punch it in the fails but the excels of the book has been very surprising. >> i'm curious if when the gentleman that was protesting you all getting into the water, if that was really an accident that -- >> it was. it was a total accident. guess i didn't articulate well or marsh i skipped because i felt like it was going long. reese was guarding the controls and the dump switch is on the collective as i was raying the collective and was watching everything he hit it with his palm. it was a few minutes later, it was me. so it was reese. yeah. >> i guess my question is, i haven't read your book so i do apologize about that. you talk about the brotherhood and sister had of your unit, and with the idea that women should serve in combat and got that
wreck nation. would you happen for the military any branch to understand that in certain branches, women are just as equal as men but for some reason, the perception isn't always that way. what would you have to say about that? >> i think that there's a lot of people who don't understand how the military works. and there's a lot of pointing to facts that they're repeating that aren't exactly -- they're out of context. for example, there's a physical fitness test that is designed to judge how healthy you are. now, a healthy 18-year-old female is going look very defendant than a healthy 55-year-old male so include weight, blood pressure, number of pushups though, kind of things. ...
conversation going back and forth and we fully support women in combat if they can do the job. have you ever seen a man who can do the job because i have, plenty. and i have and i say that yukos if someone can do the job it should be him. their ethnicity's that are stereotypically smaller framed or good at this are bad at that. many people may meet those stereotypes but we don't make decisions about what opportunities to give to those people they stun stereotypes even if they match the stereotype. we say go for it, give it a try. bob marley said he hoped people would look at skin color the way they look at eyecolor. you are going to see the difference you are going to make a judgment of that difference. by recognizing blue eyes doesn't say anything about you and i hope we can get there with gender that we are not totally
surprised when a woman accomplishes something. unless they mean because they have a certain barrier all except that complement but otherwise that's a backhanded compliment. you were so brave under fire. i've seen so many women brave under fire and i have seen men brave under fire. i have seen meant that almost got me and my whole group killed i'm not going anywhere with him on my wing. >> hi so in the military i'm sure you had many who supported you and many who opposed you appear but would you say was sure most surprising person of support or source of support in the military? >> yes i would say 99% of the people were supportive. the first iteration of the
script they came out was the female hair when fighting the military discriminatory machine and i said i'd don't know if i can but i why can't that's not going to have my name on it because the man i would have worked with i have so much respect for. there is a very small number that tried to stop me and somebody said to me tonight i'm surprised things haven't changed since my time in the military. i say things have changed. they are still there but it's so fewer people and that's great i think. the culture is still there but i will say and i hate giving spoilers out that there's a character in the book who really genuinely didn't want me and his squadron because i was a woman but he wasn't a stereotypically chauvinist. i have so much respect for him. he was an older army pilot who was one of the best pilots i've
ever known and don't tell them i said that. i really wanted to earn his respect you now and it was heartbreaking every time he dissed me. always seemed like every stupid thing i did i would look up and he was standing right there, i swear. i was watching an aircraft taxi in, fly in and land in taxi and i was interested in what was going on with the aircraft. we were going to do a hot flop with the rotor still turning and i was looking and looking and i bumped my head on the window and i was like, he turned and looked in there is doug. he was like -- like oh my god and i couldn't believe every time i did something like that it was right in front of him. another time i was running out to the aircraft and he's like slow as they then say this fast am j.. take the extra 10 seconds and
walk fast. i was like yeah whatever and i totally slipped on a rock and my pages went everywhere. i was like why always in front of him. maybe it was because it was in front of him. [laughter] we got shot down. i was the only person who returned fire that day. some of the guys on the other aircraft especially didn't perform that while in the next time i'm wanted to him he was chewing his unlit cigar and said you'd did good kid and that meant more to me than all the medals in the world. so that was surprising. >> hi mary. since you joined the military now in your crusade to have women be more involved in combat , have the opportunity how much is the needle moved? >> a lot.
the thing about this fight for me was that i took an oath to support and defend the constitution against all enemies foreign and domestic and i thought this policy was a threat , a domestic threat and the reason is i was in combat and i saw the impact of the policy. without going to academic the policy was intended to keep women out of ground combat. what it says is keep women from being assigned to jobs whose primary role was to take ground combat to the enemy but commanders in the field needed to use women. they needed women to go in with the bad into the town and the tribal councils to make sure they weren't wearing -- but the other man can't do that. sometimes your best is a woman and sometimes your best happens to be a woman.
you can't assign them into the role. but they do is they attach them to units and there's nothing worse, well there are probably things worse than going into combat with someone that you don't know who is untested. you don't know how they train, you don't know how they are going to respond and you don't know their strengths and weaknesses. you can't anticipate what they are going to do. me and my crew i knew that we would talk over each other but we are running a checklist simultaneously and it was a beautiful thing. i worked to get the policy repealed so that we could have all the shops open by default and close the one that needed that needed to be closed. the joint chiefs of staff unanimously recommended so
wasn't my lawsuit against the military. it wasn't like that. it was all of us from the same page and fighting for the strength and the military effectiveness of the military that we loved. >> i would also like to make a comment about your mother. >> i would too. [laughter] >> and i'm sure you have. i met her at about 18 years ago at a meeting at toastmasters she and she asked me to speak and she spoke for approximately 10 seconds. she said i can't do this and she sat right down. as you know you can't shut her up. she travels around speaking and you are such a personification of her. >> thank you, thank you. [applause] my mom joined toastmasters that was her first icebreaker and they gave a round of applause and it empowered her. if you are thinking public speaking scares you joined
toastmasters. >> hi. >> hi is that public surfer one can see it? >> the pay is by rank. the pay is by rank but there is combat duty pay and combat pay and stuff like that. it's really more in opportunity. you are not going to be chief of staff of the army if you haven't served in combat. that's my impression. it's definitely certain branches. you have to be a combat warrior to rise to the heights of that rank and that's how it should need. you should know the ranks so it was about opening opportunity secondarily so that women could get credit and was about doubling the candidate pool for some of these jobs and raising the bar. you are going to get a better candidate even if they select all men. they had twice as many people applying a competing then they got a better hand in it. does that answer your question?
i didn't fully answer the number of opportunities. they opened all the jobs and secretary carter said there wouldn't be the -- they had female rangers graduate and i don't know if they got assigned yet. other countries do. the field came out when they were in their research days about whether or not they were going to allow women into these roles the fields are one of the first to came out and said that we are not going to say that women can't be in the field and was kind of hard for anyone to make the case that they didn't want women. yeah. any other questions? you've got the mic. >> i was actually fortunate enough in my experience and having an oic is a female. actually you introduced the atfp is basically a concept of meeting insurance needs.
i had never actually thought of that but it educated me. actually my question was even from the female ceo and oic's and i was a little bit before you but the i guess excuse given to me was that the emotional, if a female dies in a unit the emotional response from it is significantly worse than if the mail guys so i wonder what your thoughts are on that. >> e i have thoughts on it. i am eager to share them. i think that is a very real concern but it makes a lot of assumptions. depends on the woman. when you are charged with protecting someone weaker than you whether it's an official charge or she is a combat
photographer in the marine unit in something happens to her. they were in charge with her protection but because she wasn't a combat trained warrior and she was a woman and she was with them they felt protective of her. when you put women and men in combat situations and you put them in the inclusion policy where you threw the man and nobody knows if they are going to be tough for what you have that problem. you have other problems too. you have a cohesion problem and all the problems you care about when you have that kind of situation. those things didn't happen to me because of a couple of things. first of all i didn't put up with exceeding from my section in that happen quickly early on. i think that's a leadership issue, that's a mentoring issue when we need to make sure that our young women that are
entering into it understand that it's also let's hold our young men to a high standard. this voice boys will be boys marine nude photo scandal thing in fury aids me not for the reason you might think. it's a huge to the men i know who have served that i have so much respect for. that's insinuating he don't have control of yourselves. i used to be in command, not all of you, right? i used to be in command of 18-year-old troops. i know you command different ages of little differently but it's a leadership thing. i expected a lot of them and i didn't have a lot of problems in aircraft maintenance which is an male-dominated career. i would say if you are charged with one weaker than you you are devastated when something happens. if you have an animal that you are in charge of taking care of
you are devastated when you let something happens that animal. you are taking care of your parents. i don't know who would have been been -- not me. i'm cracking jokes but the point is if you have charge of someone that you are chivalrous with it and carry the groceries and for the men i don't know who these people are, not you, no. if you are shoulder-to-shoulder with someone and you have venus williams on your side in justin bieber over here you are going to more protective of the biebs because it's a national honor and you will say she can handle herself. when i was shot i had let all over me. nobody wants to defend me. i had allowed all over me. you would think since i was the one of his head would have
triggered this ultra-masculine chivalry ended didn't, trust me. in fact my gunner turned to me when one of our patients started getting hysterical which made another one a little upset, one was a woman and one was a man. he turned to me and said this is why we don't let women in combat. first of all it's good that he was comfortable with saying that it not getting shot because i was heavily armed at the time. i was covered in blood and he knew i could handle myself just fine. he had flown with me for years and we trained together and we ate, slept and obviously we didn't shower together but the point stands it's all in how you integrate people. if you integrate the men as equals and i don't think you have that problem, the emotional problem. as a medevaced pilot i saw probably the most devastated person i saw was an od a guy
whose best buddy had been hit. unfortunately he was hit and nobody had the expertise. we all have this combat first aid but that doesn't really do anything. he was in the back of the aircraft with the soldier who expired and it was heartwrenching hearing the sounds he was making falling over his brother. when you get close to people and you lose them in combat is going to affect you emotionally but the fact that they are women, and i don't want to take too long on this, let's say that it's true. let's say that seeing women hurt or killed is too much for the men to feel. do we limit opportunities for women because of how the other half feels or do we focus on helping them and giving them the tools to deal with that? do you know what i mean? we are not a country that legislates protection of half of
our country. we legislate for children because they need protection. women are strong and they don't need legislative protection. we never legislate that women can't walk down a dark alley at 3:00 in the morning. we probably shouldn't do that but we don't live in the middle east for some of those countries demand that you have an escort or something like that. [applause] >> you are great storyteller. >> thank you. >> can you comment, you have talked a lot about things during your time in the military. can you comment about what it's like for men verses women after the military? how the society treat those people differently or not? >> i was going to say it's not different but it really is. the only differences i have seen though our wine, women will admit ptsd quicker than men.
in my opinion it skews the data because some people say women experience ptsd more often than men and i say no i raised my hand and said i have ptsd on my crew because all my crew was you do it. i didn't have the ego, not that all men have the ego but there's a ripping that goes on among men that's less apparent with women and i would go and talk to a counselor and i would come back and say what did she say? if you tell her you are having a dream about this tiger in the mall and i'm like no. so that's one difference and i think female veterans get treated differently. i haven't experienced this but i've heard when female veterans claim ptsd there was a couple of people in the va that didn't believe them and didn't assign them a disability rating because they looked at their mos and they didn't believe, i'm sorry they looked at their job title
and said that you were a supply troop. yeah a supply troop on a convoy that hit an ied that came under fire and i fired back and save lives. they have a hard time believing them and i have seen post on the internet and it's never happened to me women veterans parking in combat veteran spots that are designated in the military friendly town and getting a note on their window saying how dare you park in a spot that's designated for nations heroes. the woman is like i'm sorry i guess you meant the men so that's important. i had a purple heart placed on my car and people thank my husband for his service all the time. but he has the greatest response. so i guess we get treated a little differently.
>> and j. what will you do if your beautiful children want to go into a life or death situation like you have done? >> she told me she wanted to be a marine. have you guys heard the story of how yellow came to me my step-daughter came to me and said she wanted to be a marine and i said drop and do push-ups and we did push-ups together. a couple of weeks later she came to me in tears and said why would you let a think i could get a marine? and i was like what kind of a question is that? what do you mean? she said he didn't tell me that the boy's job. an adult that her life had told her that. and i said that's not true. i'm going to do something about that but i don't know what you than i was all fired up.
the next day he they called me and said we like to be on our suit and i said absolutely. good to be really hard. there will be people that hate you and all bad. let's do it as i didn't want her to grow from that world. i couldn't believe in 2012 that somebody was telling her that. so i would assess like the strengths and weaknesses of that specific kid in the back kid if i don't think they are going to be happy in that role i'm going to support them but i'm probably also going to educate them on what it means to be in that role but if one of my kids is an adrenaline junkie like me who will slip on a bunch of rocks that can handle themselves at the raids then i think i'd be comfortable with it. i don't know that fully answers your questions. i just want them to live a full life. you have to go where your your
calling is. >> i noticed in looking through the book there are some blackouts in it. are those voluntary or required? >> it's a voluntary process to submit your manuscript to the dod for them to review a slight information. talk about survival training in there and i take that very seriously and i talk about a couple of missions in there that i take very seriously and i wanted to make sure didn't put something in there that was classified. they came back with retractions that i thought were so ridiculous. i used a couple of codewords intended to infuse the enemy if they were intercepting a radio commissions. they wanted to blackouts the name of a physical therapist in san antonio now. what are they chose to redact they could have thought it and it would have pushed the date even further.
my publicist was leavitt, people like to see redaction's. a lot of people getting in trouble for books now like the navy s.e.a.l.s with that process. >> you have been emphasizing over and over again about the different lessons and issues that the military has brought to light in our country. unlike when we were kids were military was a unifying front for unifying various parts of society. ucl segments. what lessons can we apply to these issues going on right now? >> for example when we integrated the military there was an uproar about how would disrupt cohesion we shouldn't force people into this and the military is not here for social experiment and the leader said sorry doing it anyway. they have done the same thing with repealing don't ask don't tell and integrating and letting
people come out and they have been very supportive. the senior leaders have been supportive of the transgender situation. i think the lessons we can learn like ceos and senior leaders and corporations is change management would tell a stone for something down everybody's throat. you can get away with in the military because people do what they are told and to a great extent they will even if they do it grudgingly. there used to taking orders that they really don't like. it's not foreign to them. i would like to see a little more change but when the change benefit fails and people are still angry and don't want to see it just do it treat people will get over it and they are not going to be talking about it in six months is probably the lesson i would take from that. does that answer your question? no, not at all. i know would be a hard one. there is one here.
you guys mostly know how to get hold of me if you have more questions. >> can you talk to us a little bit about the military and how it has changed. the 21st century military is so different than what her idea of what the military is with asymmetrical warfare with technology. how was it when you entered and how is it now? >> i am fond of saying that when the taliban was encroaching on our perimeter they weren't going to say who can do the most push-ups, that person can go you know what i mean? so it's not as much of a hand-to-hand combat but i'm not going to stand appeared and say that being able to be incredibly disciplined and strong is not a very critical aspect of being a combat warrior.
it is. you could make the argument that pilots don't have to be brave in ground combat and then i found myself in ground combat. i used to get teased and made fun of for how often i cleaned and maintained my weapon. steve's gun jammed that day and i was like you want to borrow one of my? do you want a nice because you don't have a 10? i think the fact that it's more technology and people care and understand more about the ability to be on your feet and the tactical and i was in charge of the large group of people in survival training. if you don't take your whole group, no one wants to go to the super bowl with the team full of quarterbacks pretty could argue that having a good quarterback is the most important thing for the team but who wants to go with the team full of quarterbacks. you have to look at your team
and say your strength is building shelter in your strength is getting fired, your strength is getting water, your strength is navigation and get the most out of your team. if one person isn't as good at hand-to-hand combats you still have to be able to scale a wall with a full pack if you get infiltrated to the wrong place at have to reposition in place. there is an element that you have to maintain a level of physical fitness. the reason that question is so relevant is when we talk about standards. yesterday to be one standard but that standard should be arbitrarily high. they are certain jobs that take real pride in the fact that no women can meet the standards or something like that and i get that, i do but tell me what the job requirements are common tell me what you want to be able to accomplish and there are going to be lofty goals and there should need to maintain our status as the world's most powerful military but then when you say you need to be able to
pull a 200-pound unconscious marine from an mrap that is on fire you know what the task that should be that can identify the people that do that, paula started pound dummy and give them 45 seconds whatever it is that you decide is the standard. don't say 15 pull-ups equates to being able to pull a marine out. we have all seen the ninja warrior and that little gymnast who passes all standards but would she be able to do that? why did we said the standards of push-ups and pull up something that equates to the job. keep standards high not arbitrarily so. that's my goal. [applause] >> k mj. i'm wondering what is your next challenge or what's coming next? we continue to be involved in this mission?
>> that's a good question because normally i would be thinking of what scares me the most and i'm like prepare for the zombie at apocalypse is my next thing. i'm not sure. i'm focusing on parenting. i have a 2.5-month-old and going backward -- back to work after maternity leave. so really parenting is my next big challenge. i want my kids to grow up not sheltered but not terrified. how do i walk that line and show them how lucky they are to live in a country where they have freedom and they have big-screen tvs and cellphones and i want them to see real suffering. there is shrill suffering in this country, don't get me wrong. i want to expose them to the real suffering in our country and other countries and do it in a way where they cannot stand that kind of like i am.
i want to to grow up optimistic. don't want them to want to live in a cabin in the woods surrounded by constantine a wire like i do but finding that balance. so i want to say one thing before we end. i encourage you guys if you are into the antic.i'd like to you you -- we got them twitter and become a youtube video. there's more to that story that i wanted to share but it'd want to bring everybody down. i think it's a beautiful story and i would like to honor the people who are involved in that story by spreading the word and letting people know that there's more to that story. it's an 11 minute talk at the top of my twitter feed. thank you guys for coming out. i am blown away by your support. thank you so much. [applause] >> before everybody starts to get up since there are so many
of us i want to make this as efficient and safe as possible. the light is going to start here for the signing and it's going to go around the staircase and wrap around the staircase so we don't block the stairs. we'll start here and we are going to wrap around the staircase. also, hold on. i know a lot of you know her and our friends and family and everything but if you want your book personalized please tell us the name so we can write it on a sticky note for the sake of efficiency but i know you know her but please tell us your name. we would really appreciate it. >> i have an invented and i haven't slept a whole lot. thank you guys. [applause] [inaudible conversations]